So the roommate drama was over by the next day or so, because I didn't want to hang on to bad feelings. And then a few days later one of my roommates apologizes. And I hadn't said anything to her. Is someone looking out for me up there or what?
So the stuff I'm dealing with is unsolicited advice from roommates that makes me question what I should do. It's not bad. It's just a risk, and right now I'm not that type of risk taker.
Prayer and scripture study. That's what I'm working on. I'll figure it all out eventually.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
What would you do? (kinda long, sorry)
The last few blogs I posted you see pretty spectacular Sugar Skull make up. I put quite a bit of thought into the overall design I wanted. I thought it was a beautiful execution of a design not overly familiar to me and from a culture not my own. Both days I walked around this small town that is my temporary second home and got a lot of compliments from friends and strangers alike. I felt beautiful. I loved how I looked and even joked about doing make up like this again on a normal day for fun. I knew I looked good.
Saturday Night (black based design) : I accidentally scare my roommates and one of them (several times) told me I looked disgusting. Not even just that night. The next day as well. She has some personal emotional things going on, so I understand her shortness. But to reiterate it? Several times? I try not to let people's non constructive comments bother me, but this got to me. What would you have said?
Monday night (brown based design) : I walk in the door and surprise my roommate who asks why every day I dress like a freak. Two days (not even consecutive) count as every day? It was the better design of the two and I had these two little girls at the theater I went to loving it. Members of the cast were complimenting me as well as random people at the diner. So why does this get to me? I was walking on air. I had a beautiful make up job, it was a windy evening and my hair was down, and I felt like an ethereal creature walking along the streets with my hair blowing in the wind. I wasn't a freak. What would you have done? I just said, "Well, it is Halloween" and walked out.
I'm not an unattractive girl, but I'm not always feeling beautiful. I just feel normal most of the time. And I'm fine with that. It kinda makes the beautiful times that much better. So when people compliment me I love it, and of course I want more, but I only fish for compliments on bad days. I loved looking like this today, catching glimpses of myself in the mirror and windows and being reminded. Part of me feels pathetic that this would put a dent in my mood, the part of me that knows it shouldn't affect me. So why did I let them get to me? But the compliments I've gotten have not been unnoticed, nor have my friend's and family's comments been ignored. The people who know me loved it, the people with appreciation for art like it. What should I care for two girls who I'll soon leave behind when I move back home for my off track.
"Magical Realism" is how my friend described it. Like I was "cut from a different cloth". I was beautiful tonight, and I only wish that I had better pictures. I took as many as I could. I have far more than the four of either day I posted here. I'll remember the feeling and fun of today for a while.
And really, I cant hold a grudge for something like this, so I know I'll forgive and move on and love hanging out again. But I don't necessarily see a deep, lasting friendship growing here. But I'm still going to hold out hope for something.
Thank you.
Saturday Night (black based design) : I accidentally scare my roommates and one of them (several times) told me I looked disgusting. Not even just that night. The next day as well. She has some personal emotional things going on, so I understand her shortness. But to reiterate it? Several times? I try not to let people's non constructive comments bother me, but this got to me. What would you have said?
Monday night (brown based design) : I walk in the door and surprise my roommate who asks why every day I dress like a freak. Two days (not even consecutive) count as every day? It was the better design of the two and I had these two little girls at the theater I went to loving it. Members of the cast were complimenting me as well as random people at the diner. So why does this get to me? I was walking on air. I had a beautiful make up job, it was a windy evening and my hair was down, and I felt like an ethereal creature walking along the streets with my hair blowing in the wind. I wasn't a freak. What would you have done? I just said, "Well, it is Halloween" and walked out.
I'm not an unattractive girl, but I'm not always feeling beautiful. I just feel normal most of the time. And I'm fine with that. It kinda makes the beautiful times that much better. So when people compliment me I love it, and of course I want more, but I only fish for compliments on bad days. I loved looking like this today, catching glimpses of myself in the mirror and windows and being reminded. Part of me feels pathetic that this would put a dent in my mood, the part of me that knows it shouldn't affect me. So why did I let them get to me? But the compliments I've gotten have not been unnoticed, nor have my friend's and family's comments been ignored. The people who know me loved it, the people with appreciation for art like it. What should I care for two girls who I'll soon leave behind when I move back home for my off track.
"Magical Realism" is how my friend described it. Like I was "cut from a different cloth". I was beautiful tonight, and I only wish that I had better pictures. I took as many as I could. I have far more than the four of either day I posted here. I'll remember the feeling and fun of today for a while.
And really, I cant hold a grudge for something like this, so I know I'll forgive and move on and love hanging out again. But I don't necessarily see a deep, lasting friendship growing here. But I'm still going to hold out hope for something.
Thank you.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Happy Halloween (more make up pictures!)
Way more elaborate tonight! It's the big day after all! I did a fleur de lis, (it's my favorite shape) and more flourishes. I did it all myself (except the jaw lines, but I did the marks along the jaw). B/c I have brown eyeliner and browns for my make up that's the color theme I went with tonight, and I really wish I had a better camera, because the metallic around my eyes looks amazing! And the brown makes my eyes really stand out (I don't think you can tell in the photos as much)
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Saturday Dio De Los Muertos
I FINALLY DID A HALLOWEEN MAKE UP JOB AS A SUGAR SKULL!!!! I've been wanting to do this for three years!
Hair up and with earrings....
Hair down, no earrings....
Hair up and with earrings....
Hair down, no earrings....
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Life with needles
So last week I sold plasma for the first time and was on the couch recovering the rest of the day. This week they messed up returning blood to me and they couldn't finish, so now I have a bruise on my elbow that kinda fades in and out. But these experiences are teaching me a lot.
1) The guys at the plasma center are all married
2) Be sure to eat and drink as soon as you feel well enough to afterwards
3) When your veins want to pump out blood and the guy wont let you pump your fist to help with blood flow, you can kinda feel it backing up in your arm. Not very comfy.
4) A guy trying to fix the puncture by moving the needle around while inside your arm makes your veins feel achy afterwards.
5) I have some of the best friends and roommates, because on both occasions they all were there to support (and in a few other instances laugh at) me.
Also, I have a brace for my other arm to help with potential carpal tunnel. One of our guy friends is really over protective about it when he's around. Azk had to tell him I wasn't completely helpless. But when he's around I humor him.
It's kind of a hinderance, so I've started taking it off for notes or tests during class, and wearing it the rest of the time. I'm currently not wearing it because I wanted to actually post something. So here! A post for you!
Other things going on in my life
One of the apartment stove burners busted while Azk was cooking on it, scared us both. I've got pictures but only one my phone. If you want to see the burner and the pot, let me know, I'll text you!
My roommates and I have so many inside jokes it's getting ridiculous, and I'm sorta starting to take their speaking mannerisms.
Lastly, I got two packages in one day! One from my amazing grandma and one from my marvelous mother! I'll show you the bag my grandma got me later, once I figure out what I want to use it for. I'm afraid of it getting ruined or dirty. I want it to stay nice as long as possible, but I also want to use it. Decisions decisions.....
1) The guys at the plasma center are all married
2) Be sure to eat and drink as soon as you feel well enough to afterwards
3) When your veins want to pump out blood and the guy wont let you pump your fist to help with blood flow, you can kinda feel it backing up in your arm. Not very comfy.
4) A guy trying to fix the puncture by moving the needle around while inside your arm makes your veins feel achy afterwards.
5) I have some of the best friends and roommates, because on both occasions they all were there to support (and in a few other instances laugh at) me.
Also, I have a brace for my other arm to help with potential carpal tunnel. One of our guy friends is really over protective about it when he's around. Azk had to tell him I wasn't completely helpless. But when he's around I humor him.
It's kind of a hinderance, so I've started taking it off for notes or tests during class, and wearing it the rest of the time. I'm currently not wearing it because I wanted to actually post something. So here! A post for you!
Other things going on in my life
One of the apartment stove burners busted while Azk was cooking on it, scared us both. I've got pictures but only one my phone. If you want to see the burner and the pot, let me know, I'll text you!
My roommates and I have so many inside jokes it's getting ridiculous, and I'm sorta starting to take their speaking mannerisms.
Lastly, I got two packages in one day! One from my amazing grandma and one from my marvelous mother! I'll show you the bag my grandma got me later, once I figure out what I want to use it for. I'm afraid of it getting ruined or dirty. I want it to stay nice as long as possible, but I also want to use it. Decisions decisions.....
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Political Copy and Paste
Glenn, motivated by the disgusting phone call, decided to counter the hate with something more positive – a reading of “The New Colossus”:
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea‑washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon‑hand
Glows world‑wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air‑bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” Cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest‑tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
After the poem, Glenn said, “There is only one space. There is only one country. It has been our charge and our duty. I testify to you now that the only reason this country exists is to be a safe haven for those who are not wanted any place else, whether that be a Jew or you. This is the place and the only place on Earth where man can be safe. The minute, the minute we don’t defend that with everything in us, we are done. The Lord will have no place for us. This is not about our money. This isn’t about our lives. This isn’t about our sacred honor. This is about our sacred duty. What part of the symbol of the Statue of Liberty do we not understand? It is to represent the covenant, the covenant that we have, the opportunity that God and this land will provide. Not for you. Not for me. But for those who have been rejected everywhere on Earth. Watch them. See what they can do. Welcome them. You come in the front door.”
“So many people will say, ‘Well, what about all the people who come across our borders?’ I have said this since I started talking about the border. The golden door is enormous. But it is a door. You come in the front door. Anyone who tries to make that door smaller does not understand. But anyone who says you can come in through a window also does not understand. Her flame represents imprisoned lightning. Her mild eyes command. She represents the guardian of the golden door, the beacon. Come here. No one else wants you. Come here. But she also represents a sentinel. Back off. I will protect. Statue is not a statue. All of our American symbols have been bastardized. You only make a statue of someone that large because the idea she represents is larger. And real. But the minute we forget, the minute we twist, the minute we close our eyes, the broken chains at her feet become meaningless and in the eyes of God, so do we.”
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea‑washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon‑hand
Glows world‑wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air‑bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” Cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest‑tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
After the poem, Glenn said, “There is only one space. There is only one country. It has been our charge and our duty. I testify to you now that the only reason this country exists is to be a safe haven for those who are not wanted any place else, whether that be a Jew or you. This is the place and the only place on Earth where man can be safe. The minute, the minute we don’t defend that with everything in us, we are done. The Lord will have no place for us. This is not about our money. This isn’t about our lives. This isn’t about our sacred honor. This is about our sacred duty. What part of the symbol of the Statue of Liberty do we not understand? It is to represent the covenant, the covenant that we have, the opportunity that God and this land will provide. Not for you. Not for me. But for those who have been rejected everywhere on Earth. Watch them. See what they can do. Welcome them. You come in the front door.”
“So many people will say, ‘Well, what about all the people who come across our borders?’ I have said this since I started talking about the border. The golden door is enormous. But it is a door. You come in the front door. Anyone who tries to make that door smaller does not understand. But anyone who says you can come in through a window also does not understand. Her flame represents imprisoned lightning. Her mild eyes command. She represents the guardian of the golden door, the beacon. Come here. No one else wants you. Come here. But she also represents a sentinel. Back off. I will protect. Statue is not a statue. All of our American symbols have been bastardized. You only make a statue of someone that large because the idea she represents is larger. And real. But the minute we forget, the minute we twist, the minute we close our eyes, the broken chains at her feet become meaningless and in the eyes of God, so do we.”
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Hail Becki
Just sitting around the apartment and suddenly we hear a tremendous noise coming from outside. It was so forceful, we started laughing at it. Becki wanted to run out into it, and so did i, so we ran to check on my bike, to make sure it was ok. Really, it was just an excuse, but it was so fun. Cold feet stepping on hail kinda hurts, but we laughed and ran as fast as we could. There was a river running through our parking lot and hail everywhere. We had fun even if our toes froze. Yep, we were barefoot. Totally rockin'!
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