The last few blogs I posted you see pretty spectacular Sugar Skull make up. I put quite a bit of thought into the overall design I wanted. I thought it was a beautiful execution of a design not overly familiar to me and from a culture not my own. Both days I walked around this small town that is my temporary second home and got a lot of compliments from friends and strangers alike. I felt beautiful. I loved how I looked and even joked about doing make up like this again on a normal day for fun. I knew I looked good.
Saturday Night (black based design) : I accidentally scare my roommates and one of them (several times) told me I looked disgusting. Not even just that night. The next day as well. She has some personal emotional things going on, so I understand her shortness. But to reiterate it? Several times? I try not to let people's non constructive comments bother me, but this got to me. What would you have said?
Monday night (brown based design) : I walk in the door and surprise my roommate who asks why every day I dress like a freak. Two days (not even consecutive) count as every day? It was the better design of the two and I had these two little girls at the theater I went to loving it. Members of the cast were complimenting me as well as random people at the diner. So why does this get to me? I was walking on air. I had a beautiful make up job, it was a windy evening and my hair was down, and I felt like an ethereal creature walking along the streets with my hair blowing in the wind. I wasn't a freak. What would you have done? I just said, "Well, it is Halloween" and walked out.
I'm not an unattractive girl, but I'm not always feeling beautiful. I just feel normal most of the time. And I'm fine with that. It kinda makes the beautiful times that much better. So when people compliment me I love it, and of course I want more, but I only fish for compliments on bad days. I loved looking like this today, catching glimpses of myself in the mirror and windows and being reminded. Part of me feels pathetic that this would put a dent in my mood, the part of me that knows it shouldn't affect me. So why did I let them get to me? But the compliments I've gotten have not been unnoticed, nor have my friend's and family's comments been ignored. The people who know me loved it, the people with appreciation for art like it. What should I care for two girls who I'll soon leave behind when I move back home for my off track.
"Magical Realism" is how my friend described it. Like I was "cut from a different cloth". I was beautiful tonight, and I only wish that I had better pictures. I took as many as I could. I have far more than the four of either day I posted here. I'll remember the feeling and fun of today for a while.
And really, I cant hold a grudge for something like this, so I know I'll forgive and move on and love hanging out again. But I don't necessarily see a deep, lasting friendship growing here. But I'm still going to hold out hope for something.
Thank you.
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