So I'm officially in my new apartment! Nearly settled in my room, just wishing I had more drawers, or a better shelf. As it is, I'm trying not to have a cluttered desk (so I can actually use it for school work instead of as an extra shelf. Bed is made, window sill is set up. Just need my roommate to clear out her part of the closet and then I can move my desk around and have a little more moving room.
Being on my own is scary. And until I get a job I'm not going to have a lot to do.
I want chocolate. Dang it. I should have gotten some while I was at the store.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Last day
I've got a pain in my cheekbones, like I've been smiling too much...
It's because I've been holding in my tears for a week.
Anyway, BBQ and Cream Soda taste test party and one last bike ride with Curtis and then sleep and moving day tomorrow. Packing up this week my mom was a great help. I feel like she judges me for what I keep or give up, which is good, because I get rid of more stuff that I'd get rid of eventually anyway. I'm just that self conscious. And for moving boxes around last night, Curtis was such a help too. Organizing, giving feedback, it was very helpful.
I did cry some talking to my mom this morning, and then when I said good bye to my two best friends, and I've been tearing up on and off this evening. I'm probably going to cry some more tonight and bawl a ton tomorrow and when my parents drop me off for real.
I love living down here, and I know I need to move out and grow up. I just wish it didn't feel like this.
It's because I've been holding in my tears for a week.
Anyway, BBQ and Cream Soda taste test party and one last bike ride with Curtis and then sleep and moving day tomorrow. Packing up this week my mom was a great help. I feel like she judges me for what I keep or give up, which is good, because I get rid of more stuff that I'd get rid of eventually anyway. I'm just that self conscious. And for moving boxes around last night, Curtis was such a help too. Organizing, giving feedback, it was very helpful.
I did cry some talking to my mom this morning, and then when I said good bye to my two best friends, and I've been tearing up on and off this evening. I'm probably going to cry some more tonight and bawl a ton tomorrow and when my parents drop me off for real.
I love living down here, and I know I need to move out and grow up. I just wish it didn't feel like this.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Deadlines
I hate deadlines to things I dread. Countdowns just make everything worse. I don't know why people like count downs for other people's events. "So, Laura, when are you leaving?" "How long you still in town for?" "When's your last day?". Oh my gosh! Please drop it! If I wanted to talk about it I'd probably bring it up myself.
I guess other people think there's absolutely no reason to not want to move out. Forget about the fact that I've never lived outside my home.
I don't want to leave behind my friends and family. This whole summer I've barely seen my best friend, so thankfully I'm going to see her and another friend tomorrow. Last day in California. Let's see if I can get through it without crying. I've done well so far. I'm not looking forward to the crying I'll go through when I get to La Jolla. I hate crying. I don't know anyone who likes it, but most people seem to be able to accept when they do cry. Anyway, back to moving out.
I'll be living with five other girls. I know their names, but nothing else about them. I barely get by living with my two sisters and mom without going insane. Five girls? I honestly have no clue how to handle it. I have a friend who says not to room with people you want to continue liking, so I guess it's good I have no friends I'm rooming with. Shopping for my own food and doing laundry consistently is going to be a new change too.
I hope I can do well at college. Not just in school, but in surviving being on my own. I'll need a job, while I'm up there and when I get back when I'm off-track.
I don't want to grow up. I want to just magicaly be "up" already. Processes are long and tedious and stressful.
I guess other people think there's absolutely no reason to not want to move out. Forget about the fact that I've never lived outside my home.
I don't want to leave behind my friends and family. This whole summer I've barely seen my best friend, so thankfully I'm going to see her and another friend tomorrow. Last day in California. Let's see if I can get through it without crying. I've done well so far. I'm not looking forward to the crying I'll go through when I get to La Jolla. I hate crying. I don't know anyone who likes it, but most people seem to be able to accept when they do cry. Anyway, back to moving out.
I'll be living with five other girls. I know their names, but nothing else about them. I barely get by living with my two sisters and mom without going insane. Five girls? I honestly have no clue how to handle it. I have a friend who says not to room with people you want to continue liking, so I guess it's good I have no friends I'm rooming with. Shopping for my own food and doing laundry consistently is going to be a new change too.
I hope I can do well at college. Not just in school, but in surviving being on my own. I'll need a job, while I'm up there and when I get back when I'm off-track.
I don't want to grow up. I want to just magicaly be "up" already. Processes are long and tedious and stressful.
Monday, August 8, 2011
And the Countdown is on
I packed almost a whole box today. Just sheets, bath stuff and my Rooibos. And a teddy bear my best friend got me. That HAS to go with me. Clothes and books are next on the list, and then hopefully I can actually take a few days to relax with friends and family. Or procrastinate by blogging and be stressed out.
Still waiting to hear back from some teachers, but I don't think they're going to care that I need their class this semester and have a little pity on a girl from a California Community College. Oh well. Maybe I could just try to crash the class. We'll see.....
Still waiting to hear back from some teachers, but I don't think they're going to care that I need their class this semester and have a little pity on a girl from a California Community College. Oh well. Maybe I could just try to crash the class. We'll see.....
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Just an interesting thought
http://rainscamedown.blogspot.com/2011/06/i-have-to-disagree-just-little.html
Friday, July 15, 2011
Stressin to the finish line
Just under a month until I leave for BYUI. I've got some of my classes, but I'm one credit short. Ugh, I should've contacted my sister in law for help sooner. Other methods have long since been proven failures. Oh well. Another "live and learn" moment for sure. This weekend I'll be seeing a whole lot of my family as we gather together in love and understanding and try to avoid talking about anything of meaning.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Planning things...
I love getting together with people and having a good time. Planning things can be really fun for me, and I don't even worry if things don't go as planned, because I am all about having a good time. The catch is...I have a date tomorrow. Planning dates makes me worry because if I'm the one planning, I've done the asking and I want it to go well. But I worry that I'll do or say something really dumb.
In this instance I asked the guy out just before he left Monday Night Volleyball. I am terrible at volleyball, and because I play without my glasses I don't play well at all. Everything is out of focus so I pay attention less. He tried to help me play better, give me pointers and all that, even got to the point where when I messed up I'd look at him or my friend and we'd just make a face and shrug our shoulders. So some teasing, all fun and games. Then he heads out because he's got to get up early for work and I run over and ask if he's doing anything Thursday (tomorrow) and he wasn't so I asked if he'd want to see a free concert, and he seemed, I don't know, not "happy she asked me" but pleased with the idea. Then I was a space cadet and managed to give him the we'd meet up, my address and number, and figure out what we're doing for food. Notice I did not get his number. A mutual friend of ours tried to give it to me, but I think its weird when people have my number and they didn't get it from me.
So the POINT of this long tirade is I'm not sure what to make. My plan so far is sandwiches, bring root beer or cream soda, and maybe get some berries from the farmers market. Because I like them. I wont be dipping them in chocolate, because THAT IS WEIRD for a first date. I feel like it's lacking though, and I've seen guys eat, they can eat a lot, and he'll be coming from work. Suggestions! Please! I'd like to make a better impression than I feel I have at church and volleyball.
In this instance I asked the guy out just before he left Monday Night Volleyball. I am terrible at volleyball, and because I play without my glasses I don't play well at all. Everything is out of focus so I pay attention less. He tried to help me play better, give me pointers and all that, even got to the point where when I messed up I'd look at him or my friend and we'd just make a face and shrug our shoulders. So some teasing, all fun and games. Then he heads out because he's got to get up early for work and I run over and ask if he's doing anything Thursday (tomorrow) and he wasn't so I asked if he'd want to see a free concert, and he seemed, I don't know, not "happy she asked me" but pleased with the idea. Then I was a space cadet and managed to give him the we'd meet up, my address and number, and figure out what we're doing for food. Notice I did not get his number. A mutual friend of ours tried to give it to me, but I think its weird when people have my number and they didn't get it from me.
So the POINT of this long tirade is I'm not sure what to make. My plan so far is sandwiches, bring root beer or cream soda, and maybe get some berries from the farmers market. Because I like them. I wont be dipping them in chocolate, because THAT IS WEIRD for a first date. I feel like it's lacking though, and I've seen guys eat, they can eat a lot, and he'll be coming from work. Suggestions! Please! I'd like to make a better impression than I feel I have at church and volleyball.
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