Deadlines

I hate deadlines to things I dread. Countdowns just make everything worse. I don't know why people like count downs for other people's events. "So, Laura, when are you leaving?" "How long you still in town for?" "When's your last day?". Oh my gosh! Please drop it! If I wanted to talk about it I'd probably bring it up myself.

I guess other people think there's absolutely no reason to not want to move out. Forget about the fact that I've never lived outside my home.

I don't want to leave behind my friends and family. This whole summer I've barely seen my best friend, so thankfully I'm going to see her and another friend tomorrow. Last day in California. Let's see if I can get through it without crying. I've done well so far. I'm not looking forward to the crying I'll go through when I get to La Jolla. I hate crying. I don't know anyone who likes it, but most people seem to be able to accept when they do cry. Anyway, back to moving out.

I'll be living with five other girls. I know their names, but nothing else about them. I barely get by living with my two sisters and mom without going insane. Five girls? I honestly have no clue how to handle it. I have a friend who says not to room with people you want to continue liking, so I guess it's good I have no friends I'm rooming with. Shopping for my own food and doing laundry consistently is going to be a new change too.

I hope I can do well at college. Not just in school, but in surviving being on my own. I'll need a job, while I'm up there and when I get back when I'm off-track.

I don't want to grow up. I want to just magicaly be "up" already. Processes are long and tedious and stressful.